A Monday Misc. List Thing

Since I'm up to my eyeballs in boxes & packing materials, I'm gonna be lazy and give you a quickie list a la The Stephord Diaries and List Of The Day (two great blogs, check 'em out ya lazy bums!)... Enjoy it! This may be my last post for weeks - not that you care. *snort*

Obscene language ahead. You've been warned.
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5 PET PEEVES O'MINE

1) People who tailgate - Really, I just don't get the point of tailgating. Hello? Have you taken drivers Ed or gone to traffic school like EVER since you got your license? Tailgating is dangerous & stupid driving behavior. Not only that, if you're behind me & I'm not getting out of your way fast enough, go AROUND me you dick. I'm not in that big of a hurry. I'm NEVER in that big of a hurry. And I also probably have my kid in the car, so I'm being extra careful for a reason. Oh, and if you really insist on being a jerk about getting all up my ass w/ your stupid Mom Mini-Van, or your Hummer, etc. (while you're gabbing on your cell phone & gesticulating at me angrily) guess what? I'm gonna slow down even more. I may even get out of my car and KICK YOUR ASS if you drive by w/ your hands and mouth flailing. So, what do you think of them apples Speed Racer? Slow down! You'll live longer.

2) Speaking of moms in Mini-vans, I find them to be some of the RUDEST and STUPIDEST drivers on the road. They are the most likely to change lanes without signaling, the most likely to tailgate, the most likely to be screaming at their 75 kids or family members riding in the vehicle w/ them, the most likely to be speeding down a residential street at 95 miles an hour, and the most likely to want to fight me over a parking space. Seriously? Get over yourselves!

3) The "itchy spot" in the middle of my back that always itches & that I can't reach. 'Nuff said.

4) People who ask me if I'm pregnant (or ask when I'm due, or how far along I am, etc.) - Seriously? Are you THAT stupid? I kind of expect men to be retarded about asking a question like that. But women?! OMG. You must have brain damage. What an insulting, rude, potentially hurtful question to ask. Here's the deal people... unless I specifically tell you that I'm indeed going to pop out a baby in the next day or two, do not, under any circumstances, ask me if I am pregnant. You are making a gross assumption. Maybe I did just have a baby. Maybe I have a giant tumor. Or maybe, I'm just plain fat as a house. Whatever the deal is, it ain't NONE of your business. Not even a little bit. And trust me, I'm going to make sure I humiliate you as much as I possibly can if you ask me such a question. So much so that I doubt you'll ever make that mistake again. And if you do, then you definitely have brain damage so let me know your mom's address so I can send her a "sympathy" card.

5) And my final pet peeve for today is... running into ex-boyfriends. You know the one that you never want to see again on G-d's green earth if you can possibly avoid it? The one you inevitably see when you are looking your absolute worst? Yeah. That's a pretty sucky peeve. Just sayin'.

Honorable Mention - Certain family members who don't help you pack up your parents house & all it's contents b/c they're "too busy" (packing for their trip to Hawaii). Um, hello? I'm a single mom w/ a toddler. My friends all work. My parents are dead. I have no other local family. And duh, I have my own household shite to pack for a major move out of state. In less than 30 days. All while taking care of the realtor BS & inspectors need me to take care of so we can close escrow. How was your life inconvenienced? Why is all mom & dad's stuff MY job to sort, throw away, clean up, etc. Why is your life & your time always more important than mine? It would have been nice if you could have at least offered to help, instead of just counting all the duckets you're going to make. So thanks ever so for taking care of me. I really appreciate it. Oh, & I'll be sure to tell Karma to return the favor some day.

The end.

Construction Under

Ack... the more I blog, the more blogs I read. And the more blogs I read(see), the less I like the way MINE looks. Using a blogger template is great for the Average Joan, but the Creative & Very Particular Side of Cheryl wants something far more spectacular, interesting and unique to look at. What can I say? If it can't be perfect, it just won't do!

Yes, I need to work on that ever growing pile of clutter in the garage & the pre-existing clutter in the cupboards. Yes, I should be thinking of some ways I can get this extra 75 pounds of weight off my 5'8" frame. Yeah, I need to practice cooking healthy Toddler Friendly meals. Finding something to do (even part time) that would bring me some income again wouldn't be a bad idea either (given how much money is flying OUT the door). Oh, and on top of all that... I need to buckle down in my therapy progress, focus harder on the "important things", brush my teeth, remind my toddler to brush hers too, visit my elderly father, clean the bathrooms from floor to ceiling w/ bleach, shop for a new bookcase & hall tree, detail my filthy car, fold the laundry, frame & hang art that is propped up against the walls, put Declan's toys away, stop missing Declan's daddy so damn much, fill the pool w/ more water, buy groceries, etc.

I've always had a Busy Brain and that's certainly gotten much worse since having a child b/c now it's coupled with Mommy Brain. I have these running lists of things I need to do, want to do, should do... but I can rarely focus on any ONE thing b/c my mind is always racing on to twelve other things that I think require my attention. Guess what that means folks? It means I'm not right here, in the here and now.

I really hate it when I have these moments of clarity about how UN-present I am. Just sayin'.

So... I'm going to call my doctor for reals this time. I want to get my hormones checked, my depression checked, my thyroid levels checked to make sure my levels aren't as out of whack as I already think they are. Guess I have one more thing to add to my HUGE laundry list above right?

See? I've already digressed. I still really want to change the way this blog looks. I know what features I want it to have (features I've seen on other blogs that really work for me). And I know what colors, photos, etc. I'd like to incorporate to make it more "me". Now, all I need is an ounce of spare time to squeeze in some redesigning efforts.

That's all folks. Stay cool out there, it's gonna be a righteous scorcher in SoCal today!