Illuminate the Candles

Just sitting here watching the sun sink into Puget Sound, and I'm thinking about Hanukkah... wondering what all this still means to me, if anything. Of course, I believe in G-d. I'm more spiritually connected now than I've been in my entire life. And I'm grateful for that. I'm just not sure if I believe in religion anymore.

I'd like my daughter to experience the holiday traditions I grew up with (Lutheran), as well as the ones I chose as an adult (Jewish). Traditions, rituals, decorations, food, love, and most of all family... they all go hand in hand. That's not a bad thing to celebrate, right?

I will totally miss stopping at my brother's this year on Xmas morning. The kids ripping through presents. Mom & dad sitting on the couch watching it all unfold. Bri wearing khaki shorts & maybe some slippers (more likely flip flops). Elicia serving piping hot coffee w/ vanilla creamer and chatting with her over sausages on the stove. Maybe a fire going in the fireplace, even if it isn't cold (which it rarely is in Southern CA), just b/c it seems like the right thing to do on Christmas morning.

I'll miss stopping in at my best friend's on Xmas Eve. And having dinner at my childhood friends on Christmas afternoon. I'll miss lighting the Hanukkah candles at mom & dad's old house, that isn't ours anymore, in a neighborhood that isn't mine anymore either. I'll miss waving to the neighbors, exchanging cookies & cards w/ them, seeing their kids and grandkids running around the block on new bikes and skateboards.

It doesn't have to be a melancholy time, the holidays. I have so much to be grateful for. I love my new house, my new neighborhood is chock full of awesome people who will help create similar childhood memories for my daughter, I can have a tree AND a menorah if I want, I've put up lights around the eaves, it's cold, and hells bells, it MAY even snow! I can have the exact experience I desire, to the level at which I'm willing to participate. Some days I'm just not sure how much I want to participate. That's where I'm feeling stuck I guess.

But... tonight, I'll light the candles. And I'll think of those I love. That's the best I can do for today. It's enough, yo.

Forty-Two Candles

"Donger's here for five hours and he's got somebody. I live here my whole life, and I'm like a disease." - Samantha Baker, Sixteen Candles

Just Set The Cake on Fire

It's almost that time again. I say, just go ahead and stick the whole stinkin' box of candles into the cake & light that sucker on fire. We can roast marshmallows. It'll be a hoot.

Now then, where did I put my liquor drink? It was just here a minute ago. Hmmmmm...

With the Jingle Bells & The Toys...

I should be lighting the candles this week... but wouldn't ya know it? I can't find my menorah. I'm sure it's packed away in one of my many boxes o'stuff stacked in the garage, but for the life of me I can't find the energy to go dig it out. However, my lack of energy & organizational skills are another story for another day.

So, to get me (and all y'all) in the mood for The Festival of Lights, here's a song by one of my favorite bands, the Barenaked Ladies. Forgive the "video", it's all I could find on YouTube.

Happy Hanukkah!