Chirp. Chirp.

Just so you know, I come up with the most brilliant stuff for my blog in the middle of the night when my insomnia is in full gear, usually right around 2:30am or so. My vocabulary is rockin' the mic like some obscurely intricate jazz mixed up with a little of the Hippity Hop. The topics are pertinent, funny, poignant, and/or controversial. They generate gads of comments. There's even a regular troll or two b/c I consistently rile 'em up with my stellar wee hours musings.

It's really too bad I'm never on (or near) my computer when I am having these creative bursts of brilliance. Because you know, they're all just in my head, and there's a sleeping toddler at my side, and G-d forbid I should wake her up by daring to get out of bed so I can write this sh*t down. And of course by morning, in true Mommy Brain fashion, *poof* they're gone.

I'm no Alaina, Jen, Maggie or Leah that's for damn sure... but that's okay, b/c thankfully they are. And I get to read them, and so many other great bloggers every single day. Which is why I'm rarely here. Well, that & let's just be honest shall we? I'm usually wasting tons of prime writing time fiddling about on Twitter or Facebook. If I could just muster up the courage to ditch at least one of those two time sucks from my daily life, I likely be here more often.

Maybe I'd even have something to say. Or at least some better photographs to share.

Or not.

Overwhelmed!

Getting this house cleaned up (and cleaned out) seems like such a monumental task. My mother threw NOTHING away. Somehow I keep getting "stuck" with the job of getting rid of all this stuff - the donation piles, the junk/trash piles, the keep piles. I feel like one of those sicko families on Oprah; a perfect candidate for a "Hoarding Family Gone Awry" segment. Ugh. Did I mention that my mom threw away nothing? Ever?

I have decided to stay in this house. This is a relief, to know that I don't have to move away from CA now. Maybe someday. But not now.

But to truly nest so this feels like my home? That means I need to get rid of all the stuff that is taking up space I could otherwise use more efficiently. The garage is stuffed to the brim again with things I've moved out of the house as well as some things from my old place that never got unpacked. The cupboards are jammed w/ china sets and tablecloths, old papers & photographs, cloths, etc. that we never managed to get rid of the FIRST time we cleaned out the house (when my mom died). Where does it come from? How is there still MORE of it when we already filled two huge construction dumpsters w/ trash last year?

I just want to feel like I have a real home again. It's been over a year since I moved back into the house I grew up in. But honestly, I've never really moved in! It's time to move in folks.

It feels insurmountable sometimes. No wonder my mom never wanted to tackle it. After a while, it's just too much. You don't know where to start. Meanwhile, my own crap accumulates into little stacks & piles (I tend to keep paper, magazines, catalogs & receipts). I want to toss it all, but what if I need it later (especially receipts, or drawings my daughter made)? Stupid, I know. But that's what stops me. I imagine that's what stopped mom too.

Anyway, I'm working on the mountain today b/c I have a new couch & new carpet coming. It needs to get done. One room & one item at a time I will make this house a home!

Help?!

Oh yeah and I'm hungry. Anyone want to make me some lunch?