My Little Girl

... Well, dang. She's not so little anymore. I've spent the last several days thinking about my baby, laying in her crib with her fat corndog legs and lovely toothless grins. How did THREE years go by so darn fast? Really, I wanna know.



Anyway, the last minute birthday party ended up being awesome! She had about 8 friends aged 4-8 to play with, her daddy (from NV), my buddy Christine (from CA) and several of my Seattle friends & neighbors came over to celebrate w/ us too. It wasn't fancy. It wasn't too stressful (ok, maybe a little bit - at least the gathering of decorations, booze, balloons, etc.). And I'm pretty sure I had at least as much fun as Dexy did. All in all, not too shabby for a first gathering in our new house!

Speaking of our new house... YES, we've moved in. More on that later. Right now though, it's all about my sweet faced, not so little anymore, turtle baby.

I love you Big Girl!

Soon to be Birthday Girl

Someone has a birthday coming up...

Last year I didn't have a party for her b/c my elderly father was ailing, there was zero other immediate family around who would bother making a showing, I'd broken things off with her daddy just a few months before and frankly, I didn't feel like dealing with any party planning drama.

Instead, some friends came over to the house. We all had some yummy cake that Dex's dad made. We opened two or three presents, b/c really she doesn't need any more stuff, and that was that. No muss, no fuss. Hooray!

This year though? She's way more aware of the whole b-day thing, having attended several in the past year. She also knows & sings the "birthday song" almost daily, not to mention telling anyone who will listen that she's going to be "thwee in June". Guess I can't really skip having a party now can I?

Truth is, I wish I could. We've only been in Seattle for 2 months, with few friends (hers or mine) to attend and we're also moving into our still very messy (& still very under construction) house exactly one week before Dexy's Big Day. Did I mention I'll have house guests in town that weekend too? Yes, I'm a crazy person.

I was thinking cupcakes in Lincoln Park sounds kinda good. With festive party hats, juice boxes & a few gifts. Since she'll be happy just to be in a playground, I don't think she'll notice a lack of 600+ party guests, schoolmates, clowns, a marching band, catered food, pony rides & a mountain of presents. Mostly, I just want to know that she won't be scarred for life if cupcakes in the park is all I can muster this year.

Three Can #Suckit

Sweet Jeebus!

Coming up w/ a healthy lunch for my kid every day so she can take it to school in her cute little pink & green lunchbox (okay, it's not really a "box" per se, it's more of a canvas lunch bag, but you get the idea) is freaking HARD.

Oh hell, who am I kidding? Feeding this kid for any meal is hard. She doesn't eat. She hates everything I make her, even if she asked for it just 5 seconds ago. She doesn't want to drink anything either. She doesn't like juice. She doesn't want chocolate milk, so forget about regular milk! Water is rarely acceptable, unless it is in a sippy cup, no a drinking fountain, no a glass, no a sippy cup. And G-d forbid I ask her if she has to go pee, or poop, or to come over here right now before you get a spanking b/c I'm counting to three missy so come here right now instead of running down the block away from me you little stinker of an obstinate $#%^* child o'mine ...

Her answer is always a resounding ...

"NO!"

Also, her repeated NO's are almost always accompanied by maniacal fits of laughter &/or an evil grin that puts the very Devil's to shame.

Whomever it was that said the 2's were terrible? Yeah, they totally lied.

Hands down, the 3's are way worse. Worse still? She won't even be three until June people! I'm so screwed.

Nasty Habits

Here's something to think about
Where would we be without
nasty habits, nasty habits
Makes me want to scream and shout
Life would be so dull without
nasty habits, nasty habits

"Nasty Habits" - Oingo Boingo

I have a confession to make. I'm 42 years old & I still chew my fingernails (or more precisely, my cuticles). I've done this since I was a little girl. It used to make my mom completely INSANE. She tried everything to get me to stop, but nothing could keep me from it. Nothing.

Ok so yeah, I only chew on my cuticles nowadays, but still, it's pretty gross right? People have taken pictures of me w/ my hands stuffed in my face chewing away like I'm munching on a yummy snack. It's kind of horrifying to see the "evidence" there in living color. I don't know WHY I do it, other than it's a nervous habit that has just become a part of me, like a tic or something.

The reason I bring this up is b/c my daughter sucks her thumb. She never had a thing for a pacifier or a Binky & she's never been the kind of kid that needs a specific blanket or stuffed animal to go w/ her everywhere (thank G-d), but I'm kind of over the thumb sucking thing. She's cute as a button when she does it, there's this little dimple that forms in her cheek that is SO darling I wanna pinch her, but I have to admit it's starting to affect her teeth. And that reminds me of my brother, who sucked his thumb until he was a pre-teen. He had the whole works done on his teeth... headgear, braces, retainers, etc. Dex is already likely to end up w/ a mouth full of teeth straightening metal anyway b/c of her dad's side of the family, but man, it would sure be nice if she DIDN'T.

I know I can't control how her teeth turn out. But really, isn't there some way I can encourage her to stop sucking her thumb? Or should I just not worry about it unless she's still doing it when she reaches Kindergarten (she'll be three in June)?

Btw, I ask these questions while furiously chomping on my cuticles.

Potty Training - Part Deux

So last year, Dexy started showing an interest in potty training. I got SO excited b/c she wasn't even two yet... Yeah, yeah. I was really naïve.

In any case, her interest ended before it really began. We've spent the last year talking about the potty, reading books about the potty (e.g. "Everybody Poops" & "Once Upon a Potty"), practicing with her "big girl" cotton training underwear on warm days, running around nekkid, etc.

She peed in her potty all of twice, maybe three times max. While I didn't exactly give up, (I knew that eventually she'd get there), I also just sort of let it go. Besides, her pediatrician, my friends w/ older kids, and all the books I was now reading on the subject, said I'd be very optimistic to expect successful potty training before the age of three.

But there's been a real shift in nearly all areas of my life during the past month or so. Potty training is certainly no exception. We also got an offer on my parents house, but more on that later! Dex suddenly started asking me to read her "Poopy" books every night. She wanted to run around the house nekkid as often as possible. She didn't want to be in her diaper after she went poop in it and would ASK me to change her.

Then, on Tuesday evening, we came home & while I was fixing her dinner I decided to let her run around in her cotton training undies. Of course she peed in them. But this time, she was TOTALLY grossed out by it. While I was getting her bath ready, she just sat down on her potty & announced, "I went pee pee Mama!" ... I've heard this a zillion & one times before, but sure enough, this time there was pee in the potty!

Of course, we did the "Pee Pee Dance" ... We sang & took the little pot to the toilet & dumped the contents in. She got to flush ("bye bye pee pee"). There were lots of hugs and kisses. She was SO proud! She eagerly took her bath & chattered about her potty the whole time. When she got out of the tub, she wanted to go potty again. So she did, twice more! The next morning, she wanted to do it right after I took her diaper off. She went three more times before I took her to school. And several more times last night before bedtime. Hooray! Could it be we were on our way?

Hell yeah, I'm striking while this iron is hot mes bébés!

I took a 1/2 dozen cotton undies & several extra pairs of pants, socks, etc. to her pre-school. I told her teacher, "It's time!"... I'm going to get a sticker chart or something special to mark her progress here at home. I moved all her "toileting" supplies from her bedside to the bathroom. I'm jumping into this potty training adventure w/ enthusiasm. A life free of diaper bags, diapers & diaper wipes is coming. Frankly, I can't wait!

Ok all you Moms & Dads out there in parenting land ... I have so many questions for you! Please leave comments on how YOU potty trained your little ones, especially your daughters.

Did you use stickers? M&M's? Praise only? When did you switch from the potty chair to an adult sized toilet? Did you use diapers or pull-ups at night? For how long? What did you do w/ episodes of regression? How did you handle long car rides or traveling by plane? How did you keep their beds & car seats dry? Anything else you think this novice mama should know?

I need your opinions, suggestions & most of all your sage parental wisdom! I'm new at this, remember?

New Year, New Do...

Wishing all my family & friends a most happy, healthy & prosperous New Year in 2009!

Dexy Dress Up

Auntie Stephanie brought this back from South Korea. It's called a chima jeogori ... or Hanbok. Doesn't she look sweet?

Time for potty training?

Gotta love the Japanese!!

But seriously, Dex is starting to show interest. Is it time? Hmmmm...

Mommy Struggles

I started a blog over the weekend about how I have a toddler who has decided in the last 2 months or so to have sleep "issues", but she was refusing to nap & so I put it in my drafts folder with plans to complete it on Monday when she went back to school. But it's been one of those weeks & I just sort of forgot about it.

Until now.

This morning I was reading one of the many wonderful blogs I've gotten hooked into through the twitterverse (Apathy Lounge) - and her latest entry just really hit me hard about how FAST it all goes, this childhood thing. I decided I should write about that (while I'm baking cookies - HA), but instead I found this draft about my Mommy Struggles. So decided to finish it first instead. Goodness, I'm all over the map sometimes!

This past Monday night I decided not to give in to the Master Toddler Pleas & would let her "cry it out" (even though it is completely contrary to the whole Attachment Parenting philosophy), b/c I was going to have my bed back to myself again no matter what.

She cried and screamed, barfed, and cried some more. I sat in my room listening to her on the monitor with my heart breaking. I went in every 5-10 minutes to reassure her that all was okay, that mommy loved her & that I'd see her in the morning, but she needed to sleep in HER bed tonight. Ultimately, after going back & forth from her room to mine for over an hour, she still wasn't settling down so I made the painful decision to NOT go until she was asleep. It took another 20 minutes of hysteria & angry baby screaming, but FINALLY she fell asleep.

Of course, I didn't sleep a wink that night as I busy feeling like the most awful mom in the entire universe.

Tuesday night, I make decision to follow through with my brilliant plan to get this kid back into her own bed. Please note that Dexy has ALWAYS slept in her own bed since she outgrew her bassinet at approx 2 months of age. She has ALWAYS slept through the night too, with very few exceptions (until her recent night terrors - but that's another story for another day). The only time I've ever been of a mind to bring her into my bed is if she's a) sick, b) scared, c) we're snuggling &/or reading a book, or d) we are traveling.

See?











(note: gotta love her sleep positions, right?)

Back to Tuesday. I had plans w/ my BFF for dinner in Seal Beach at Walt's Wharf. First night out sans child in AGES. I'm way stoked but unsure of how she'll behave. Babysitter arrives at 6pm, child pitches a HUGE fit about being left with babysitter. I finally just decide to leave after 20 minutes of vainly trying to validate her hysteria, er, I mean her feelings. As I walk down drive to my car, I can hear her screaming "no, no, no" from inside the house... Of course, 2 seconds after I leave, the baby sitter calls to say she is totally fine & they are already singing, playing, having a ball.

Oh brother.

I have a marginally enjoyable dinner & arrive home at 8:30pm. Baby still awake, but I anticipated that. I paid the babysitter, get Dex situated in my lap for some book time and by 9pm with only about 5 minutes of protest on her part, she's sound asleep in HER bed. She slept through the night, until 8am as a matter of fact. I start to think perhaps we're on the road to success, either that or she's going into a growth spurt.

Wednesday night... we stopped to visit my dad on the way home, like we do every few days. Got home, had dinner, took our evening walk around the block, played, read, sang, and at 8pm I took her into her room for book time & ni-ni. She protested for about 5 minutes, then was out like a light. Never heard a peep out of her til this morning at 8:30!

So. Okay. I know it's only been three nights. But I cannot tell you how grateful I am that she's been back in her own bed, even if we have some setbacks in the future, b/c I get some much needed sleep & as a result of that, she gets a much more CALM & LOVING mom. And regardless then of how we got there, isn't that really what "attachment parenting" is all about?

From where I'm sitting, some battles must be fought so that I can be a better mom. For me, that means being rested, it means not feeling hopeless or frustrated, it also means not feeling resentful of her (or her dad) when it isn't even her(his) fault in the first place.

I have to tell ya gang, so far? This has been a good week.

Yay me!

There's no place like home...

Oh, Auntie Em... there really is no place like home!

We arrived in Long Beach to a cool, almost damp 63 degree evening. Our flight landed about 25 minutes late but was pretty easy-breezy once we hit the tarmac (gotta love small airports like AUS and LGB).

We had a quick dinner at Pancho's Mexican Restaurant on Pacific Coast Hwy before stopping at the local 7-Eleven for a gallon of Alta Dena milk so that I'd have something to give the baby in the morning &/or put in my coffee. Got back to the house around 9 pm, brought the bags in, changed into pj's, brushed our teeth, read 2 books & pretty much crashed as soon as our heads hit the pillow.

Best of all? Dexy slept in her own bed. No waking, no fussing, no crying... until 5:30 am! Then she came in w/ me & we snuggled together until 7:15 am, dozing off and on. Sweet, non stressful, peaceful.

My child the way she used to be -- instead of the child she's been the past few months. You know, the little girl w/ the goofy grin that was so easy going & even tempered, that never cried and who would let ANYONE hold her. The child I gave birth to, the child I've know for most (if not all) of the past 23 months). Before those evil aliens from the Planet Terrible Two's stole her away & replaced her with the Whiny-Needy-No-One-But-Mama-Will-Do child I have now (please, please, please tell me I'll get my original child back some day).

Despite the fact that she's been a total PILL most of today (Happy Mother's Day to me, hooray), I'm holding on to that sweet moment from this morning. It was the first time in a long time that I felt relaxed & calm around my kid. I need to know those moments are still possible, or I'll never get through the next few years of Toddler Hell.

Speaking of Mother's Day...

My friend Debe dropped off the most hilarious card (& flowers) for me this morning! The card is sort of charcoal gray w/ lime green text & this cute lime green fairy in a funky striped baby doll dress, wings, a wand & knee high boots & it says:

If I could,
I'd find a fairy godmother
With a magical wand
And combat boots
So that she could grant
Your wishes and kick
The crap outta anything
That tried to get in the way
Of your happiness.

I don't know WHERE she found this card, but I'm totally framing it! A lime green Fairy Godmother in combat boots, are you kidding me? If my Fairy Godmother was going to wear anything on her feet, of COURSE she'd wear combat boots. She'd have tattoos & multiple piercings too. LOL.

I also got a text message from Dexy's dad wishing me a Happy Mother's Day too, which was much more than I was expecting to be honest. We even ended up talking on the phone for the first time in a month, which was really weird -- but that's a topic for another day. I'm still kind of trying to process the reality of our conversation & don't want to regurgitate stuff I've already said on this blog until I've done so.

It's sunny & bright outside. The hose is refilling the pool (one week gone & it's dropped about 4 inches from evaporation). The grocery shopping is done. I've unpacked my suitcase & started some laundry. Dexy Girl is down for a late afternoon nap. I think I'm going to pop in a video (Across the Universe) & watch it until I either fall asleep too, or she wakes up. Whichever happens first.

Hope all my Mommy friends are having a WONDERFUL day!

Love & kisses,

Me.

11 Months...

Dex is 11 months old today. One more month and she'll no longer be a "baby", she'll be a toddler. She crawls, sits, pulls herself up to a standing position, has seven dang teeth (I have the bite mark to prove it), laughs at everything from the dog to her daddy, eats her solids like a champ, points, waves, babbles constantly in a secret language I've yet to decipher, etc.

I had to buy her a new car seat over the weekend b/c she is 21 pounds, 11 oz. and over 30" long. Her infant seat only fits infants to 31" and it is getting to snug now. She's big enough to be "forward facing" actually. Won't do that for a while yet, she's safer the other way. The Britax car seat I got will take her to 65 pounds. Good seat. Expensive seat. Holy cow, raising a kid costs a small fortune.

I digress.

Where the hell did the past 11 months go? Too fast, too fast. 'Course, she'll always be my baby. I so look forward to seeing her little face each morning when I wake her up & in the evenings when I pick her up from daycare after a long day at work... these are the kinds of little things that are the highlight of my days now. Who knew being a mom could be so hard, and so wonderful all at the same time?

So... Happy Birthday little girl o'mine. I am already in wonder of what kinds of things you will learn to do between now & June 15th, or for that matter between now and age 40 (like me). Or all the crazy things you will most certainly do to make me laugh. Indeed, we're just getting started...