Sunday, January 21, 2007

Life Changes - again

2 weeks into the new job... so much is changing, and so fast. The job is good, I like my co-workers and my boss, etc. which doesn't suck. Dex is doing well at her day care. I've still got my BF. I still have a roof over my head.

Ah. Speaking of my roof.

I met w/ my accountant yesterday and given my house payments vs. my income ratio - now that I have a child to support solely on said middlin' income - there is no way I can manage the mortgage, child care costs, diapers, etc. and have even a dollar left over for food or gasoline, etc. so the house is gonna have to go. I feel kind of relieved actually, as much as I love my little house and all the things I've done to it, etc. the weight of that Mortgage Monkey had gotten pretty heavy. The good news is that I think I already have a buyer and if all goes well, I could be accepting an offer within 2 weeks and be moved out 45 days or so after that. Will probably move in w/ my elderly father for a while, at least until I can get back on my feet and figure out what the hell I'm doing. It won't be great, but it will be cheap, and that's the SMART thing to do for right now. It's not just about me anymore, it's about this little girl o'mine.

Speaking of being a mom... my own mother has taken a turn for the worse. She has stopped feeding herself. Of course, in the overall progression of Alzheimer's this could mean very little -- this disease really is the long good bye, often taking as long as 20 years from start to finish. She's about 11 years into this thing, so even though she has definitely declined considerably in the past few months, there may be quite a long way to go yet. This is mostly fine for mom - she is well taken care of and loved where she is. But for me, her daughter, it's beyond painful to watch.

Well, that's really all I've got to say for right now. I need to get up and at'em for the day, even though I've officially been up since 5am, it's shower and get out of the house time! HAHA.

My last thought for today... please hug the ones you love really tightly. You never know, they may not be here tomorrow.

C ~

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