Tuesday, March 31, 2009

MS Can #Suckit

I have been very remiss in not mentioning before that one of my most favorite people in the whole world has been fighting a daily battle w/ MS (Multiple Sclerosis) for about 10 years now.

I haven't mentioned it I guess b/c A) she's a private person and B) I support her by giving money quietly to the MS Society & by supporting her hubby when he does the big MS bike ride from Houston to Austin each year... but I wish I could do more.

I wish I could donate millions of dollars so that a cure could be found NOW. So she could get up from her fancy electric ride & be CURED forever and ever. I hate that MS keeps her shut inside her house for days at a time. I hate that my vibrant, smart, beautiful & soulful friend can't get OUT and do all the things she's always loved doing as often as she'd love to do them. Mostly, I'm selfish & wish she could just get on a plane & come see me, or her sister, or her grammy, etc. whenever she wanted. B/c you know what? I effing miss her. I miss talking into the wee hours about everything under the sun. I consider her to be one of my best friends & I wish she knew how much I love her b/c I'm not sure she does.

So Beanie, I'm gonna work a little harder on my commitment to the MS cure & advocacy thing. I vow that when I'm all moved to Seattle, I will hook up w/ the local MS chapter & even if all I can do is lick envelopes once a month, that's what I'll do. For you, and for the millions of others who are fighting the good fight.

I love you. I miss you. You're my effing hero!

For all y'all that wanna see my buddy in action... check THIS out (click on the Real Audio file for 3/19 - TX House Bill 802). She's doing her part. What will YOU do?

Oh, and if MS ain't your thing, at least consider being an activist for a cause that DOES touch your life. My mom died of Alzheimer's in 2007. She suffered w/ that disease for 12 years! It was devastating for my family to watch & now one of my childhood friends is watching HER mom go through the same ordeal. Maybe you have a family member that is affected by dementia too? Or Ovarian Cancer? Give money, give time, walk the fund raising walks. Just find your groove & do something. I beg you. My friend needs you. My friend's mom needs you.

Monday, March 30, 2009

A Monday Misc. List Thing

Since I'm up to my eyeballs in boxes & packing materials, I'm gonna be lazy and give you a quickie list a la The Stephord Diaries and List Of The Day (two great blogs, check 'em out ya lazy bums!)... Enjoy it! This may be my last post for weeks - not that you care. *snort*

Obscene language ahead. You've been warned.

1) People who tailgate - Really, I just don't get the point of tailgating. Hello? Have you taken drivers Ed or gone to traffic school like EVER since you got your license? Tailgating is dangerous & stupid driving behavior. Not only that, if you're behind me & I'm not getting out of your way fast enough, go AROUND me you dick. I'm not in that big of a hurry. I'm NEVER in that big of a hurry. And I also probably have my kid in the car, so I'm being extra careful for a reason. Oh, and if you really insist on being a jerk about getting all up my ass w/ your stupid Mom Mini-Van, or your Hummer, etc. (while you're gabbing on your cell phone & gesticulating at me angrily) guess what? I'm gonna slow down even more. I may even get out of my car and KICK YOUR ASS if you drive by w/ your hands and mouth flailing. So, what do you think of them apples Speed Racer? Slow down! You'll live longer.

2) Speaking of moms in Mini-vans, I find them to be some of the RUDEST and STUPIDEST drivers on the road. They are the most likely to change lanes without signaling, the most likely to tailgate, the most likely to be screaming at their 75 kids or family members riding in the vehicle w/ them, the most likely to be speeding down a residential street at 95 miles an hour, and the most likely to want to fight me over a parking space. Seriously? Get over yourselves!

3) The "itchy spot" in the middle of my back that always itches & that I can't reach. 'Nuff said.

4) People who ask me if I'm pregnant (or ask when I'm due, or how far along I am, etc.) - Seriously? Are you THAT stupid? I kind of expect men to be retarded about asking a question like that. But women?! OMG. You must have brain damage. What an insulting, rude, potentially hurtful question to ask. Here's the deal people... unless I specifically tell you that I'm indeed going to pop out a baby in the next day or two, do not, under any circumstances, ask me if I am pregnant. You are making a gross assumption. Maybe I did just have a baby. Maybe I have a giant tumor. Or maybe, I'm just plain fat as a house. Whatever the deal is, it ain't NONE of your business. Not even a little bit. And trust me, I'm going to make sure I humiliate you as much as I possibly can if you ask me such a question. So much so that I doubt you'll ever make that mistake again. And if you do, then you definitely have brain damage so let me know your mom's address so I can send her a "sympathy" card.

5) And my final pet peeve for today is... running into ex-boyfriends. You know the one that you never want to see again on G-d's green earth if you can possibly avoid it? The one you inevitably see when you are looking your absolute worst? Yeah. That's a pretty sucky peeve. Just sayin'.

Honorable Mention - Certain family members who don't help you pack up your parents house & all it's contents b/c they're "too busy" (packing for their trip to Hawaii). Um, hello? I'm a single mom w/ a toddler. My friends all work. My parents are dead. I have no other local family. And duh, I have my own household shite to pack for a major move out of state. In less than 30 days. All while taking care of the realtor BS & inspectors need me to take care of so we can close escrow. How was your life inconvenienced? Why is all mom & dad's stuff MY job to sort, throw away, clean up, etc. Why is your life & your time always more important than mine? It would have been nice if you could have at least offered to help, instead of just counting all the duckets you're going to make. So thanks ever so for taking care of me. I really appreciate it. Oh, & I'll be sure to tell Karma to return the favor some day.

The end.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Family. WTF Is That?

I'd really love nothing more than to rant myself silly on this here little old blog of mine about just how lame some of my family members are. But sadly, I don't feel the liberty to do so without certain eyes/ears making note of my observations & then having to listen to some half-baked argument about why they aren't even 1/2 as lame as I think they are. Because, let's face it... the truth is that they don't think they're lame at all. They think they're Cool and Smart and Oh So Much Better Than Me.

But they're wrong.
are way lame.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Last Hurrah @ The Mouse House

Last weekend, we went for one last jaunt to Disneyland as CA residents. Dexy's been many times since she was a baby, but this was definitely the first visit where she "got it" & she totally wanted to check everything out. We actually managed to survive the heat, the record crowds, the walking & lots of standing in line, for almost 8 hours. That's a record, even for me! I'm really glad we went b/c even though I am so not an amusement park kinda gal, it was great watching Dex enjoy it.

Fun @ CA Adventure

Tarzan's Tree House

Poor Sweaty Horse

Soooooo tired!

Wet & not too thrilled.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

The Best I Can Do...

... Is give y'all a pic of Dexy Doodle riding her pink Schwinn trike in the backyard last weekend. It was such a lovely warm afternoon. We pretty much HAD to be outside. I can guarantee you, there won't be as many of those kind of days in Seattle. LOL.

Her potty training is going GREAT by the way. I mean, stellar & amazing great. She's not just going pee-pee in her potty, she has even been pooping in her potty (without prompting, at school AND at home). I know, I know, you are thrilled to death that I'm sharing this information with you. Welcome to MY world. Moms live and breathe this stuff. Don't like it? Bugger off & come back another day. Meanwhile, I'm just so effing grateful to have one of the easiest breeziest kids on the face of the planet. At least when it comes to this kind of stuff.

Knock wood she stays that way until she's 30, (or I'm dead, whichever comes first).

Crazy, crazy, crazy! We move to Seattle in TWO weeks. So of course I'm up to my eyebrows in stress, errands, cleaning, packing, donating, doctors, lawyers, address changes, realtors, movers, etc. and just can't handle one more thing to add to my "pile"... and yes, sometimes I think this blog *IS* a pile. Of what, I have no idea. You're welcome to be as creative & crude as you like, really, I don't mind.

That's all for now folks!

Saturday, March 7, 2009

SoCal to the NW

Photo by Asahel Curtis, c. 1923

It's official. Mom & Dads house is in escrow. We close in less than 30 days (approx Apr 1), and since my house in Seattle won't be done in time, we're going to have to rent, or squat, or something for at least a month - maybe two.

Wow wow wubzy! We're
really leaving CA and we're really moving to the Pacific NW. I've only been waiting about a decade for this moment to happen, and now it's finally here. WTF?
  • Yes, I'm actually kinda scared. What if I'm making a mistake? What if I fail?
  • I'm also kinda freaking out about how I'll manage to get everything packed up & ready for our move in less than 4 weeks.
  • I have NO idea where all our stuff will reside while we're "homeless"... Storage unit? Pod unit? Garage rental? Halp!
  • I have a MILLION things to do before we go... doctors, lawyers, Goodwill donations, tearful goodbyes, bank accounts, address change notices, etc.
  • Holy crap! Speaking of tearful goodbyes... I'm going to miss my friends & family SO much!
But dudes? Seriously. I'm also really excited.

Friday, March 6, 2009

No Outlet

Writing has always been a big outlet for me. Huge in fact. For decades, I did it in fancy journals, "old school" Comp Books & in college writing courses.

For the past 6+ years I've increasingly done it on "social networking" sites like MySpace, Blogger, FB, Twitter, BrightKite, Plurk, etc.

Some of my friends & family don't understand it. Many comment or criticize what I write. They complain that I'm "always on twitter" or "fiddling around on that damn iPhone". Often they are even hurt & offended by it.

I do take great care not to name any names. I know how the internet works. I've been on it since before Al Gore invented it. I wouldn't want anyone I love or care about being contacted by a random batsh*t crazy person who reads my blog. I've had that happen to me and let me tell ya, it totally sucks!

There is SO much going on in my life right now (really for the past 2 years). Insanely HUGE stuff. The kind of stuff that puts some people in the loony bin. Lately, I feel like I can't write about it in an open & honest way. Worse, I don't have anyone to talk to about it either.

Instead, it sits inside of me; a fuming, steaming, crazy, swirling, MESS. After several days or weeks of that kind of buildup, guess what? Combustion! It seeps out in insidious and plain awful ways. I use sarcasm & meanness to strike back. I avoid. I get flighty. I get lonely. I distract myself w/ food, TV, or Facebook (ha!). I cry in the shower. I feel sick to my stomach. I feel like I'm going to pass out or explode into a zillion little pieces. Fragmented.

I guess I'm an all or nothing kind of gal. I haven't developed very good "filters" to help me keep my effing mouth shut. I think it's called tact & no, I haven't got much of it. I'm impulsive. I'm emotional. I take things way too personally. I sulk. I get butt-hurt. Yep, I'm all of those things. That either makes me a crazy person or it just makes me a normal GIRL. At 42, I'm still not sure which!

But here's the thing, I don't want to lie or "pretend" either ... I don't want to smile through clenched teeth and say "I'm okay" when people ask "How are you?". B/c while there are indeed many good days, there are some that aren't so great. Grief is a tricky thing. Change is a tricky thing too. Going through either of those alone is just about the worst & most sucky experience I can imagine. And yet, I do it. Every day.

How do I explain honestly about how I'm really doing w/ the death of my parents, the sale of my childhood home, packing up & moving to another state, being a single parent, etc. to people who really don't want to know? How do I find an outlet to express myself creatively, constructively & healthily, where one seemingly no longer exists? How do I keep all this rage, sadness, frustration, etc. from my Real Life reigned in, when I no longer feel I have a safe place to go to shed it?

I don't have any answers. I'm sure I'll get a world of crap for this little rant too.

Life's a bitch. And so am I.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Potty Training - Part Deux

Prepared for Potty Training

So last year, Dexy started showing an interest in
potty training. I got SO excited b/c she wasn't even two yet... Yeah, yeah. I was really naïve.

In any case, her interest ended before it really began. We've spent the last year talking about the potty, reading books about the potty (e.g. "Everybody Poops" & "Once Upon a Potty"), practicing with her "big girl" cotton training underwear on warm days, running around nekkid, etc.

She peed in her potty all of twice, maybe three times max. While I didn't exactly give up, (I knew that eventually she'd get there), I also just sort of let it go. Besides, her pediatrician,
my friends w/ older kids, and all the books I was now reading on the subject, said I'd be very optimistic to expect successful potty training before the age of three.

But there's been a real shift in nearly all areas of my life during the past month or so. Potty training is certainly no exception. We also got an offer on my parents house, but more on that later! Dex suddenly started asking me to read her "Poopy" books every night. She wanted to run around the house nekkid as often as possible. She didn't want to be in her diaper after she went poop in it and would ASK me to change her.

Then, on Tuesday evening, we came home & while I was fixing her dinner I decided to let her run around in her cotton training undies. Of course she peed in them. But this time, she was TOTALLY grossed out by it. While I was getting her bath ready, she just sat down on her potty & announced, "I went pee pee Mama!" ... I've heard this a zillion & one times before, but sure enough, this time there was pee in the potty!

Of course, we did the "Pee Pee Dance" ... We sang & took the little pot to the toilet & dumped the contents in. She got to flush ("bye bye pee pee"). There were lots of hugs and kisses. She was SO proud! She eagerly took her bath & chattered about her potty the whole time. When she got out of the tub, she wanted to go potty again. So she did, twice more! The next morning, she wanted to do it right after I took her diaper off. She went three more times before I took her to school. And several more times last night before bedtime. Hooray! Could it be we were on our way?

Hell yeah, I'm striking while this iron is hot
mes bébés!

I took a 1/2 dozen cotton undies & several extra pairs of pants, socks, etc. to her pre-school. I told her teacher, "It's time!"... I'm going to get a sticker chart or something special to mark her progress here at home. I moved all her "toileting" supplies from her bedside to the bathroom. I'm jumping into this potty training adventure w/ enthusiasm. A life free of diaper bags, diapers & diaper wipes is coming. Frankly, I can't wait!

Ok all you Moms & Dads out there in parenting land ... I have so many questions for you! Please leave comments on how YOU potty trained your little ones, especially your daughters.

Did you use stickers? M&M's? Praise only? When did you switch from the potty chair to an adult sized toilet? Did you use diapers or pull-ups at night? For how long? What did you do w/ episodes of regression? How did you handle long car rides or traveling by plane? How did you keep their beds & car seats dry? Anything else you think this novice mama should know?

I need your opinions, suggestions & most of all your sage parental wisdom! I'm new at this, remember?

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Forty-Two Candles

"Donger's here for five hours and he's got somebody. I live here my whole life, and I'm like a disease." - Samantha Baker, Sixteen Candles