Friday, November 14, 2008

Ouch.

I do not believe in random chance or coincidence. Sometimes, something happens & it's a benefit to me & my journey in this life. Sometimes, life's hiccups &/or missteps are for the benefit of another person(s).

I know this is all rather cryptic... Suffice to say, I'm feeling a little hurt today. Like I got stabbed in the heart. Or punched in the nose. Maybe I deserved it. Maybe it's "payback"... Or maybe they've forgotten who I am & what my character is. Maybe I've been too nonchalant or too unclear about what it is that I really want.

But I've said my truth out loud. Again. I don't know if they heard me or not. I have no control over what the results will be. So I just keep moving through my days & try not to let it sting too much - or for too long. At some point, I will just stop putting myself in a position to get punched in the first place.

Forgiveness is a powerful thing. Trust/Honesty is another. Love cannot exist without them.

I choose love today. Even if it means I get my nose punched once and awhile. It's worth the "risk"... b/c frankly the alternative is a life of sadness, despair, suspicion, anger, hurt, resentments, and even hate. That's not the life I want. And it's not the example I want to model for my daughter on a daily basis.

Crumbs are just NOT enough anymore. I want the whole kit and caboodle. I'm finally at a place in my life where I'm 110% willing to give the same in return. This is important. I don't want to f*ck the next 1/2 of my life up. Not for my kids sake. And not for mine.

'Nuff said. The End.

----------------

“What untold grief of heart might be relieved by words of cheer and forgiveness. Especially should this lesson be remembered in the training of children, for they so readily respond to the thought of others.” Ernest Holmes 1887 - 1960

No comments: