Down isn't up...

Feelin' down I'm feeling really isolated tonight. Seems I always say or do the wrong thing & end up offending someone. Makes me want to just quit, everything. My job, my friends, my life, myspace.

Yes, I'm taking some things personally (Rule #1: never take things personally), but damn it, I feel really f**king "unwanted, unloved and alone" in this old house that's falling apart from years of neglect, with two dying dogs, my stuff still strewn about in boxes b/c I can't find the energy or free time to unpack them, and my 82-year old dry drunk of a father who is truly one of the meanest people I've ever known.

I miss my BF. I miss the stillness his presence brings. I laugh/smile more when he's here. I feel I've lost my "sparkle" when he isn't. I sleep better when he's next to me, which is saying a lot, b/c I don't sleep.

I'm going to go in the other room & watch my baby for a while. Her little face and soft sleep sighs always make me feel better.

G'night. I'm sure this too shall pass.

P.S. The Sopranos episode tonight was seriously messed up. I can't believe there is only one episode left.