Monday, March 26, 2007

Month End Report(ing)

Dex turned 9 months old a little over 1 week ago. She already has her 5th tooth coming in. It broke through yesterday. AND she has started crawling in earnest over the past 2 days. More like an Army crawl actually. She drags herself across the floor w/ her arms and torso. Her Daddy saw her do it first. Of course. Look at what I miss being at work full time. Damn it!

Moved in w/ my dad over St. Patrick's Day weekend. New Sisal carpets were installed last Monday in my bedroom and the baby's, a few coats of fresh paint too and new windows are coming next week. But there is still so much to do to make the house I grew up in remotely livable for me, Dex and my dogs. For example, the shower. Oy. Taking a shower in that bathroom is truly the most depressing thing I've experienced in a long while. But the house been neglected for at least 20 years & was built in 1957, so you can imagine how "degraded" things are (to say the least).

Basically I'm still adjusting. Everything I own is still strewn about in boxes, completely in disarray, which doesn't help matters. I also have a garage full of stuff left at my old house that I need to pack up & get out of Jacki and Bob's hair.

To be honest, I do WANT to put all my stuff away but I'm so tired by the time Dex goes to sleep that all I really want to do is eat my crappy meal and fall asleep. I also haven't got the faintest idea where to start, it's so bloody overwhelming. I hate feeling so scattered and disorganized. Makes me crazier than I already am. I feel that old familiar downward spiral of despair and it freaks me out, but short of getting my ass to a meeting (or… what?) I'm just not sure where I'm at or where I'm going. Please tell me this will pass and I'll feel a f**king sense of normalcy again.

Then there is this other thing that is looming over my head that I really don't want to deal with. I know I NEED to deal with it, but maybe now isn't the best time… with all these other stresses. It just sucks though b/c I really don't want to make a decision about it right now, if ever. Ha. Like that's an option.

Okay. That's all I've got right now. Hope y'all are doing well. Sorry I've been so bad about staying in touch and/or keeping you updated. All I can tell you is that Mommyhood is a full time job which makes extra-curricular activities next to impossible at the moment. But I love y'all and miss ya too. Some day soon I'll come up for air again and we can chill like we used to in the "old" days.



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