Thursday, August 12, 2010

Missing My Joanie Baloney

Today my mom would have been 81. She passed away in July 2007 after suffering from Alzheimer's for over a decade. And I know I've said it before a gazillion times, but there isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss her, or have an impulse to call her for some serious Mommy Advice (parenting is hard dudes, and my mom was SO smart about Mommy Stuff!). Mostly, I wish I could give her a big hug & just hold onto one of her teeny little hands...

We didn't always see eye to eye. Frankly, I was a HUGE pain in the ass, for a very long time (teen angst that bled well into my late twenties). By the time I woke up and got my attitude in check, she was already getting sick and there was SO much I missed in terms of a loving and informative relationship with her. What a shame, b/c of course I have a million questions I'd loved to have asked. As a young woman. As a new mother. And she would have actually answered my questions now. Really, I don't blame her for being secretive and/or cryptic about her life Before There Was a Me. When I was younger, I so often didn't deserve her trust. And now, now that I so desperately wish I had answers to those questions, there is no one left to answer them.

I love you and miss you Joanie Baloney. Say hey to Grandma Pink for me. I know you two are watching over me and Dexy. Thank you for that. Happy birthday mama.


Paris Metro with my Mom
Mom and I in Paris, 1989/90

Mom and Declan - Aug 2006
Mom and Dexy, summer of 2006

6 comments:

Joan Stewart Smith said...

Your mom's wisdom is still with you, as I am sure you know! She continues to shed light on all those troubling questions of parenthood.

divacowgirl said...

Monday is the anniversary of my mom's passing. I can't believe it's been two years and like you I think of her every day. So many times I almost pick up the phone to call her.

I'm sure though your mom would be so proud.

Cheryl said...

Thx ladies. Mom is always with me, just wish I could give her a big hug and have her WITH me. Ya know?

T, I'm thinking of you girl. (((HUGS)))

Cheryl said...

Thx ladies. Mom is always with me, just wish I could give her a big hug and have her WITH me. Ya know?

T, I'm thinking of you girl. (((HUGS)))

divacowgirl said...

Monday is the anniversary of my mom's passing. I can't believe it's been two years and like you I think of her every day. So many times I almost pick up the phone to call her.

I'm sure though your mom would be so proud.

Joan Stewart Smith said...

Your mom's wisdom is still with you, as I am sure you know! She continues to shed light on all those troubling questions of parenthood.