So, tonight was kind of weird.
I went to a Hanukkah party up in LA. I took Dexy of course and my friend Debe. I was excited to have a Jewish family to celebrate the holiday with. I was excited to be celebrating a Jewish holiday again period b/c frankly, I've been very lax about keeping a Jewish home since moving back to CA.
But instead of leaving the party with a sense of being re-connected, I just ended up feeling completely dis-connected. Like I didn't belong. Like I was from another planet. Like I was some kind of conspicuous impostor.
I ended up missing the Jewish community in Tucson more than ever. I missed the Shabbos dinners at Rabbi Jonathan and Ginny's. Studying Torah with other GAP members every week at Cafe Paraiso. Sukkot at Hillel on the UofA campus. Pesach with the Goodmans... or ANY Jewish holiday @ the Goodmans for that matter. Most of all, I missed Harvey saying the blessing before lighting the menorah ("Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu melech ha-olam, asher kid'shanu b'mitzvotav v'tzivanu l'hadlik neir (shel) chanukah"), the smell of latkes cooking on the stove, Judith's scrumptious cooking (OMG, did she make one hell of a Brisket!), Brooke & Daniel schmoozing their dad for Hanukkah gelt (real & chocolate)... you get the idea right?
So, I've been trying to determine how best to create meaningful spiritual/holiday traditions for my daughter since she came into my life this past June. Certainly, I want her to to look back on her childhood some day and have fond memories of growing up and celebrating the holidays.
My mother made the holidays magical when I was a child. Daniel's family made them magical for me as a young adult. And I want that for Dex.
But where to begin?